From an early age, we were taught that kindness, diligence, and fairness would naturally lead us to success. Teachers drilled it into us, parents repeated it, and society reinforced it. But then reality hit. We watched colleagues who bent the rules climb faster than those who played by them. We saw leaders admired not for kindness but for strength. And we realized something unsettling: the world doesn’t always reward niceness. It rewards power.
Centuries ago, Niccolò Machiavelli wrote truths so dangerous that the Church banned his book. These weren’t sheer theories; they were blueprints for survival. And here’s the first truth: people are not rational. We like to think decisions are made with logic, but they’re driven by emotion such as fear, desire, or status. That’s why the coworker who complains about being broke still buys Starbucks coffee every day. That’s why the client ignores your data-packed presentation but signs with the competitor who makes them feel like a visionary. Facts don’t move people. Feelings do.
Before any meeting or negotiation, ask yourself: What does this person fear? What do they crave? Then frame your message around that. If you’re pitching a project, don’t just say “it will save costs.” Say “it will make you the leader who transformed the company.” Want your team to rally behind a project? Paint a picture of how it will make them industry pioneers. Want to influence a partner? Make them feel the joy of winning with you or the pain of losing you. The person who controls feelings controls the room.
Here’s the second truth: weakness attracts predators. In nature, wolves don’t attack the strongest deer; they go for the limping one. The same happens in business and life. The quiet employee who never speaks up is the first to be cut. The man who bends to every demand loses respect at home and at work. Strength isn’t aggression. It’s clarity, boundaries, and the courage to say ‘no’ without guilt. If your team is overloaded, don’t quietly suffer. Speak up, set priorities, and protect your time. People respect those who defend their energy.
Then comes loyalty. We’re taught it’s sacred, but in reality, it’s conditional. People stay loyal only when it benefits them. That friend who calls only when they need something? That company that preaches “we’re family” until the next round of layoffs? Loyalty without reciprocity isn’t noble. It’s weakness. Be generous with loyalty, but withdraw it when trust is broken. Test relationships during storms, not just sunshine. Notice who shows up when there’s nothing in it for them.
And reputation? It’s your armor. It walks into the room before you do. The world doesn’t reward the real you. It rewards the strategic you. Oversharing doubts and fears might feel authentic, but it erodes respect. Instead, project confidence even when uncertain. Guard your reputation more fiercely than your money. Every email, meeting, and social media post shapes perception. Before you hit send, ask: Does this strengthen my image or weaken it?
Conflict is inevitable. Machiavelli warned: “There is no avoiding war. It can only be postponed to the advantage of others.” In business, someone is always eyeing your position. In relationships, someone is always ready to take your place. The successful don’t wait for war. They prepare during peace. Upskill before your role is threatened by automation. Build savings and networks before you need them. Be the lion strong enough to fight and the fox clever enough to avoid traps.
And here’s the hardest truth: honesty doesn’t rule the world. Controlled deception does. Every leader, every corporation, every politician uses masks. Does this mean we should lie recklessly? Of course, not. It means we should master strategic honesty by telling the truth when it strengthens us, staying silent when it harms us, and never revealing more than necessary. In negotiations, reveal only what strengthens your position. Share optimism with your team even if you’re worried. Panic spreads faster than facts.
Strip away the illusions of morality, and you’ll see the machinery underneath: fear and reward. These are the true currencies of control. Parents use them, corporations use them, governments use them. Too much reward breeds entitlement. Too much fear breeds revolt. The art is in the balance. If you lead a team, alternate between recognition and accountability. Praise publicly, but set clear consequences for missed deadlines. In relationships, alternate between appreciation and boundaries.
Finally, trust. We’re told it’s solid, but it’s glass—beautiful, fragile, and destined to break. Never build your life on trust. Use it, shape it, but never depend on it. Don’t assume a handshake deal will hold. Get it in writing. In friendships, trust actions more than words. Verify, always.
These truths aren’t comfortable. They’re not what our parents told us or what school taught us. But they’re real. And once we see them, we can’t unsee them. Every smile becomes a mask, every promise a strategy. The question is: will we use this knowledge? Because in weak hands, it breeds fear. In strong hands, it creates power—the kind that bends the world.
If this article made you think differently about success and influence, I’d love to hear your perspective. Which of these principles have you seen play out in your career or personal life? Share your thoughts in the comments, tell your stories, and let’s start a conversation. If you found this valuable, please like and share it with others who need to see the hidden rules of success.
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